27/3/17
Cambiando a español
No me gusta leer lo que escribo en español, no sé porque, creo que ya estoy acostumbrado a leer la mayoria de los blogs en inglés. Pero decicdí hacer este cambio para intentar mejorar la forma en que yo me expreso en mi idioma principal, siempre tengo problemas para encontrar la mejor forma de expresar mis pensamientos y es muy común que se me olviden palabras (a las cuales termino diciendoles "cosa"). Pues eso nomás, espero que escribir mi blog en español me ayude a poder expresarme mejor cuando estoy hablando también.
16/3/17
First two weeks of college
It's been two weeks since I started college, I've been feeling a little homesick, missing my parents, I've always been someone who stays in home, didn't have many friends, and I can't wait to see my mom again and just being alone for a while, I like feeling like a child with my mother by my side, I am not fully comfortable in this new place, my roommates are noisy and I don't talk to them very much, I stopped playing my videogames for a while (left Pokemon moon half played, hopefully I will resume it by July, but I've been playing more Fate Stay Night since I'm not reading any books), also I want to keep learning japanese and digital drawing, and of course I'm trying to concentrate more on my studies so I can pass this first semester and be able to stay at home in July and august. My most productive times are when I'm feeling down or bored, I try to work more for when things get better again, that´s why I started japanese again and I´ve been thinking about buying a violin for next year.
I am eating bread, cold boiled steakes and apples to try to save money and buy some things I want (mostly books) , but my college is pretty good and I am making friends there, maybe next year I'll move in with one of them, it would be more comfortable than the place I'm at right now.
In these two weeks I haven't masturbated or even thought about it, I guess I have been too occupied with my studies, and also, living with roommates is the best thing to control that habit, I think this time is for real, my porn addiction isn't bothering me at all.
But the bad side is that I am alone in a big city with lots of gorgeous college girls around and my balls are only getting fuller. I can't see myself with a girlfriend or even having sex with a girl, I know a normal relationship with a girl wouldn't work out for me, I've been almost two years reading blogs about succubi and I prefer that kind of relationship over a girlfriend. But these last two weeks (probably because I seem to be getting better at my porn thing) I've been noticing girls more often than before and more intensely, and wondering how it would be like to have a girlfriend, and sometimes I just think about having sex, it's like I'm twelve again. And frankly, in the state I am right now I don't now if I'll be able to resist the temptation if I ever get the opportunity.
But I know I can't have a girlfriend, I'm just not suited for it, the boyfriend life doesn't match me. That's why I still want a succubus in my life, although I can't see me getting one very soon, I'm not comfortable enough in this new place to really try to get one.
I am eating bread, cold boiled steakes and apples to try to save money and buy some things I want (mostly books) , but my college is pretty good and I am making friends there, maybe next year I'll move in with one of them, it would be more comfortable than the place I'm at right now.
In these two weeks I haven't masturbated or even thought about it, I guess I have been too occupied with my studies, and also, living with roommates is the best thing to control that habit, I think this time is for real, my porn addiction isn't bothering me at all.
But the bad side is that I am alone in a big city with lots of gorgeous college girls around and my balls are only getting fuller. I can't see myself with a girlfriend or even having sex with a girl, I know a normal relationship with a girl wouldn't work out for me, I've been almost two years reading blogs about succubi and I prefer that kind of relationship over a girlfriend. But these last two weeks (probably because I seem to be getting better at my porn thing) I've been noticing girls more often than before and more intensely, and wondering how it would be like to have a girlfriend, and sometimes I just think about having sex, it's like I'm twelve again. And frankly, in the state I am right now I don't now if I'll be able to resist the temptation if I ever get the opportunity.
But I know I can't have a girlfriend, I'm just not suited for it, the boyfriend life doesn't match me. That's why I still want a succubus in my life, although I can't see me getting one very soon, I'm not comfortable enough in this new place to really try to get one.
2/3/17
These past weeks I haven't done anything to contact a succubus.
A month ago my grandfather's health worsened and I spent a lot of time helping my mom taking care of him, she got stressed and me too, I fell back into my old porn habits and I just didn´t have the motivation to meditate and call for a succubus.
Yesterday my grandpa passed away, he was very close to me but his death felt like a relief to my family, we don´t have to take care of him all day now and my mom finally will have time for herself and stop worrying. That took my good mood back and I can´t wait to start exercising, playing videogames and summoning a succubus again.
Tomorrow I will be moving to a bigger city to start college, I have never been "independent" before so everything will be new, and I'm exited. The thing is that I will be staying with other twelve roommates and sharing my bedroom, so I don't think I'll have a chance to do any summoning rituals, it will be just me and my will power, and if I do get my succubus I won't be able to be intimate with her, only when I come back to see my family, nearly once a month. But I will do everything I can to get my girl as soon as possible.
This first days I will probably spend getting used to my new student life. When I find a good way to resume my summoning "rituals" in my new home I'll make another post.
See you then Leo!
A month ago my grandfather's health worsened and I spent a lot of time helping my mom taking care of him, she got stressed and me too, I fell back into my old porn habits and I just didn´t have the motivation to meditate and call for a succubus.
Yesterday my grandpa passed away, he was very close to me but his death felt like a relief to my family, we don´t have to take care of him all day now and my mom finally will have time for herself and stop worrying. That took my good mood back and I can´t wait to start exercising, playing videogames and summoning a succubus again.
Tomorrow I will be moving to a bigger city to start college, I have never been "independent" before so everything will be new, and I'm exited. The thing is that I will be staying with other twelve roommates and sharing my bedroom, so I don't think I'll have a chance to do any summoning rituals, it will be just me and my will power, and if I do get my succubus I won't be able to be intimate with her, only when I come back to see my family, nearly once a month. But I will do everything I can to get my girl as soon as possible.
This first days I will probably spend getting used to my new student life. When I find a good way to resume my summoning "rituals" in my new home I'll make another post.
See you then Leo!
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